Dear Weston, my Precious Gift, my MIRACLE Child:
This Blog is just for you, sweetheart. It will be here that I shall keep an account of your life, your accomplishments, your milestones and hope that someday you will read and enjoy your life story. Perhaps your own children will see this and be glad that their grandmother made the effort to keep track of your precious life.
This particular post will be all about the time right before you were born to the day you were able to come home. It will mostly be an account of your time in the NICU at LDS Hospital which lasted a total of 59 days. It will explain how the entire event happened and hopefully give you an idea of what it was like to have such a tiny, precious little baby hanging onto life one day at a time. You will also learn about how you officially received your nickname: "TIGER" . This was a very emotional time for your father and myself, as well as your sister, Alexa, your grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins, neighbors and friends in our ward family. It was a time where your Daddy & I grew closer and closer to the Spirit of the Lord and our testimonies increased exponentially. You are truly a miracle child and we are so blessed to have you in our lives.
Right before you were born, Daddy, Alexa and I were on a vacation in Mexico with the Olsen Family. This photo was taken during that vacation on your dad's birthday, February 28th. We were at a restaurant celebrating and it's hard to see my tummy, but you were in there celebrating right along with us! Who knew that you would be kickin' around with us in less than 30 days?? I guess you REALLY liked that Mexico vacation and wanted to come see what it was all about!!
Here, you can see just how big my tummy was while we were on our vacation, and I was only 6-months along in my
pregnancy with you. Little did we know what was in store for all of us! We were tremendously thankful and know it was an absolute miracle you weren't born in Puerto Vallarta! Both of us would have probably died. Tiger, you were born very prematurely. This is the first photo taken of you just moments after you arrived At 2 pounds 11 ounces and only 15.5" long:
You were only 28 weeks through with your development inside of my womb when my body began to shut down. The due date for your birth wasn't until June 12th, but you were born on March 25th! I had what is called severe pre-eclampsia which is where the mommy has high blood pressure and retains water in her body. I remember coming home from Mexico and feeling very, very sick. My body was swollen beyond what was normal for a pregnant mommy. I had gone to have Dr. Roth check on both of us and because my blood pressure was 182/128, he sent me straight to the Cottonwood Hospital for observation. While at that hospital, your grandparents, Daddy and "Aunt" Shelley came to be with us because I was really scared (and because aunt Shel brought us Jamba Juice drinks!). After 24 hours of careful observation and tests there, the doctor told us that it was important I get to a different hospital with a NICU (Newborn Intensive Care Unit) in case you came early. The nurses gave me some steroid shots in case your little lungs were not developed very much. That medicine helped them to grow faster. Off in the ambulance I went with your Daddy driving close behind. He gave me the "Thumbs Up" sign from behind the wheel of his car to me at every intersection we stopped at for we could see each other out of the back window of the ambulance. It wasn't exactly the way either one of us pictured driving to the hospital for me to give birth to you, but it was exciting anyway.
Once I arrived at LDS Hospital, I was told that I would remain there as an ante pardom patient until you were born... and you were still almost three months away from your due date! After a few days, my lungs began to fill up with water and I kept telling the nurses that I felt like I had just eaten a HUGE meal, or that an elephant was sitting on my chest; I couldn't breathe without a lot of effort. One of the nice nurses then called the doctor and a nice orderly wheeled me to X-ray where they found out that I had pulmonary edema. 'Pulmonary' means lungs and edema means 'water'; my lungs were filling slowly with water from my body. I was drowning even though I wasn't in water! The doctor said that it was very important that we get you out of my womb so my body could get back to normal, but that was scary since you were not fully developed and could have died. :( You were taken by C-section from my tummy and given to the capable doctors and nurses. They took care of you from the moment you were born until 59 days later when we took you home.
I only remembered one thing about the C-section surgery itself, and that was your father' big, blue, beautiful eyes! He was sitting by my head wearing white sterilized clothing, a white hair net and a white mask over his mouth and nose. All I could see of him was those gorgeous eyes, then the anesthesia took over. Suddenly, in my mind, I saw these pretty pink fluffy clouds inflating all around me before I lost consciousness. You were taken feet-first from my body and quickly handed to the waiting nurses and doctors in the NICU through a big sliding window. Daddy said he heard you mutter out a tiny little sqwak of a sound before they rushed you to your new home where you would develop and grow. It was your first Tiger growl!
I felt a huge loss with you now absent from my tummy, and felt lonely for you for many days afterwards. I was recovering in one part of the hospital and you were fighting for your life in another. When your Daddy told me how much you weighed, my mind went straight to the tray of ground beef I had recently purchased at the grocery store which was at home in the refrigerator. It was a little over 2 pounds, and I couldn't even imagine a child that small.
I remember seeing you in your little isolette for the first time and being so surprised at how small you were: (That's my hand below:)
I was in a wheelchair because I was too weak from surgery to walk to the NICU. I gasped, put my hands up to my mouth, then cried from worry and fear. I was so sad that you had come into the world in this abnormal way, and knew of the potential dangers which were ahead for you. I blamed myself for this situation and still do to this very day for it was my body that had shut down. I prayed and prayed for you to develop and become healthy, and your daddy gave you Priesthood blessings to administer to your needs.
Here, you were only moments old, and your sister, Alexa was standing by you:
You can see just how tiny you were compared to her hand and belt buckle. (By the way, she got to change your very first diaper!) We rejoiced over every quarter ounce you gained and called the hospital every single night to check in after your weigh-ins. We held our breath at every turn of your life and prayed with all of our might and faith that you would survive.
Here is a photo of you with Daddy's hand next to you. It was taken the very first day of your life; you were so Teeny-Tiny!
Your father thought it was very important to read to you while you were developing inside the isolette. Here is a photo of him doing just that:
This photo was taken of you on the day I had to leave you at the hospital, just 4 days after you were born. I was pretty much done recovering from the C-section and it was time for me to go. I cried and cried knowing that I would be miles away from you in Park City.These hands holding the petite little pacifier in your mouth and your tiny little head are mine.
Both Daddy and I came back to the hospital every single day you were there. (I was told that it was okay for me to stay home as my body recovered, but I only did so once. I HAD to be with you!) I spent hours upon hours there near your isolette and pumping milk to give to you. Daddy would come every evening after work and stay with me for as many hours as we could before we had to drive home and sleep. Sometimes, Daddy took extra time in the mornings to come in and see you before going into the office as well.
The first time I was able to hold you was a momentous occasion. You were only 8 days old and I had LONGED for this moment ever since I learned I was expecting you. I felt your tiny body pressed against my chest flesh-on-flesh and the tears freely rolled down my cheeks. I was holding a precious baby angel straight from Heavenly Father and I knew it. This was taken at the very moment I pulled you to my chest:
I held you every-other-day in the NICU and Daddy held you on the other days. We had to take turns for a while because you were so tiny and fragile that you could have been over stimulated very easily. When Daddy held you, we put a little piece of gauze bandage against him so his chest hair didn't bother your sweet, tiny face:
Now that I could hold you, I started our repetitious routine of singing primary songs to you always in this order: "I Am a Child of God", "My Heavenly Father Loves Me" "I Love to see The Temple" "A Child's Prayer" "Teach Me To Walk in the Light" and "Tell Me The Stories of Jesus". I didn't even care if the nurses or other babies mommies & daddies heard me because you were my own precious angel and I loved to sing to you. To this very day, you love hearing these songs sung in this order and they (pretty much) instantly calm you when you are upset. The nice nurses and doctors at the hospital were anxious to call you by your name... but Daddy & I were very unprepared and hadn't thought of the perfect one for you yet. So until we decided on Weston Stewart Wilkinson, we told the nurses at the NICU to just call you Tiger, and that name stuck. Aunt Robyn loves calling you Tiger and your cousin Davis wishes he had a cool name like that! Pretty soon, everyone in the Kimball Ward was calling you Tiger as well, even the Bishop referred to you as Tiger over the pulpit in church one week. You are truly a little tiger with lots of growly squeals that delight (and practically deafen) us!Becky Harwood was one of your Primary Care Nurses. We love Becky very much and relied on her to care for you around the clock. Here are a few photos of the two of you together:
You had a couple of other primary care nurses: Kay Amussen and Denise Christensen. There were many other nurses I only remember by first name: Lynn, Janet, Sharon, Allison and many, many others. Your very first bath wasn't until you were close to a month old! Here are some photos from that very memorable evening. Becky taught your Daddy and me how to bathe such a tiny little man:
All done!
After your bath, we cuddled you all up and you went fast asleep with the $100 dollar bill lovingly placed by your Daddy to see how you compared in size:
You were sweetly referred to as our "Million-Dollar-Baby" and have been worth every singe cent we (and the insurance company) have spent!
There were many requirements you had to meet before the doctors would allow you to come home with us: you had to be able to suck and swallow milk from a bottle or from mommy, had to maintain your body temperature in an open crib, had to breathe on your own without any bradycardia spells and had to be able to sit in your car seat without any breathing problems for a whole hour. Sucking and swallowing seemed to be the hardest thing for you to learn but you HAD to eat so you could grow! Your darling nurses were able to take mommy's milk and put it in a syringe attached to a tube which went from your nose straight down into your tummy. Mommy or Daddy (or a nurse during the nighttime) would place you in our lap and hold the milk up in the air as it drained into your tummy. Here is a picture of daddy doing one of your feedings:
It was very important to me that there were familiar faces in your open crib for you to look at. There was a photo of me and Daddy, a picture of our Savior, Jesus Christ and on the opposite side, a photo of Alexa. (You always seemed to be laying on the side facing Alexa, which thrilled her beyond belief!) There was also a little tape recorder which played Mozart music over and over and over for you as I believed it would help calm you. Now, as we drive in the car and you get a little grumpy, I switch the CD player to the same Mozart music and you quietly listen to it. Talk about the Mozart Effect!
Here is what your open crib looked like: (Facing the side with your sister's photo on it, naturally!)
Once we were told you could come home with us, I was scared! I think your Daddy was scared also, but he was being brave for both of us. For the first couple of weeks, Daddy and I were both nervous wrecks. Neither one of us had been getting much sleep because you were a growing boy needing constant care and nourishment around the clock. I would pretty much take care of you during the wee hours of the mornings Monday - Thursday while your daddy slept, then he took over on Friday and Saturday nights so I could sleep. It was pretty hard for us because we were both older parents... well, older than most parents of newborn babies (daddy was 50 and I was 38). We had waited a LONG time for you to arrive, and we were (and still are) so very happy you are here with us. It was nerve-wracking having you home because there were no machines to tell us if you had stopped breathing, no nurses to come to your aide and no doctors just around the corner. We were both so concerned about you that we hovered all of the time. You were the single most important focus of our lives! We slept with one eye open all night long and I would pause just to make sure you were indeed breathing. We were in for an adventure of a lifetime with you, and Heavenly Father had blessed us with your little spirit to live with us.
Of course, we had no idea that you were coming so soon and had not prepared your bedroom at home. We had a car seat, a play yard, a swing and a stroller, but that was about all. Thanks to all of Mommy & Daddy's friends from the Kimball Ward and lots of friends & relatives you had yet to meet, we were well taken care of and soon had everything in order for your move from your 59 day stay at the Newborn Intensive Care Unit to 7428 Brook Hollow Loop Road in Park City.
This is what you looked like when you came home:
Our dear friend, Barb Nelson, spent countless hours sewing the quilt, the dust ruffle and the bumper pads for your little crib. I had chosen the material with jungle animals because there were faces of Elephants, Monkeys, lions and TIGERS! Here is what it looks like:
It is my absolute honor and pleasure to have raised you thus far, and it is my goal to continue taking care of you and teaching you to walk in the light of the Lord so that you may return to live with Heavenly Father again someday. I love you, son. Mommy